Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
