is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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