Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
