Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
