Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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