walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
