watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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