is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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