Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
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