New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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