I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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