they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
