i just wanna soil my oats bro
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
