This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
