Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
