Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
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we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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