If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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