I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
