So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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