you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
