I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
