woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
