When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
