sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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