I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
