True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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