woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
