sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
