i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
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She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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