also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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