so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
