he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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