jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
