call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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