out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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