You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
