Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
