I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
