I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
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He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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