"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
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We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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