Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
