Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Are we still banned from the library?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
