i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
