Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize