No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
