My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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