He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize