I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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