My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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