did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
