sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize