I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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