I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
