I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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