I just threw up on my dentist
even my farts smell like vagina
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i out mim tonsoeep
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
