Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend