Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.