Texts From Last Night

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  (720): View more from Colorado

  have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?

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  (720): have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing? http://tfl.nu/o8yl
  Replies (51) Good night (4651) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop

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  (412): dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop http://tfl.nu/q8xc
  Replies (18) Good night (6797) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake

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  (310): Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake http://tfl.nu/w9rn
  Replies (8) Good night (2637) Bad night (5653)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.

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  (718): at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue. http://tfl.nu/efry
  Replies (15) Good night (6473) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.

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  (402): her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed. http://tfl.nu/jsdy
  Replies (13) Good night (2061) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

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  (206): She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/y8c3
  Replies (29) Good night (9107) Bad night (1943)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.

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  (775): He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had. http://tfl.nu/a3aj
  Replies (13) Good night (3728) Bad night (1873)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.

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  (562): at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all. http://tfl.nu/8vyn
  Replies (6) Good night (952) Bad night (2896)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.

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  (214): She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box. http://tfl.nu/8utv
  Replies (7) Good night (2460) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.

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  (434): i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister. http://tfl.nu/d8xo
  Replies (34) Good night (3735) Bad night (3291)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure

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  (224): I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure http://tfl.nu/kybt
  Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (1644)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"

  (406): View more from Montana

  Midwestern nice.

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  (608): He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!" (406): Midwestern nice. http://tfl.nu/grmw
  Replies (10) Good night (3176) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.

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  (719): i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please. http://tfl.nu/3lio
  Replies (5) Good night (511) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed

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  (254): I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed http://tfl.nu/euid
  Replies (3) Good night (674) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER

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  (952): OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER http://tfl.nu/m7io
  Replies (2) Good night (245) Bad night (554)

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