Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.

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  (212): Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe. http://tfl.nu/iy4x
  Replies (17) Good night (1806) Bad night (827)
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  (714): View more from California

  my room smells like sperm. sweet.

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  (714): my room smells like sperm. sweet. http://tfl.nu/th94
  Replies (14) Good night (962) Bad night (2550)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.

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  (303): You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you. http://tfl.nu/620d
  Replies (20) Good night (5652) Bad night (1016)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores

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  (304): nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores http://tfl.nu/a1sm
  Replies (12) Good night (3651) Bad night (483)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes

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  (416): she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/kujh
  Replies (15) Good night (938) Bad night (4440)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?

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  (713): Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/a6k0
  Replies (13) Good night (4473) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.

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  (248): she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look. http://tfl.nu/ne7a
  Replies (14) Good night (828) Bad night (4465)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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  (408): Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge? http://tfl.nu/3h8y
  Replies (67) Good night (2218) Bad night (6127)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?

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  (405): Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird? http://tfl.nu/uuel
  Replies (10) Good night (2358) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  She still started it.

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  (651): No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister. (1-651): She still started it. http://tfl.nu/h5sx
  Replies (7) Good night (2802) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me

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  (514): I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me http://tfl.nu/t69r
  Replies (2) Good night (1827) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do

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  (678): ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do http://tfl.nu/pgwu
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?

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  (303): When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight? http://tfl.nu/mdtp
  Replies (4) Good night (929) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT

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  (651): SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT http://tfl.nu/4s8g
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??

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  (608): He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case?? http://tfl.nu/iqff
  Replies (4) Good night (273) Bad night (404)

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