Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.

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  (303): Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her. http://tfl.nu/gotu
  Replies (58) Good night (3834) Bad night (1016)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow

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  (240): ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mdzc
  Replies (10) Good night (2575) Bad night (592)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.

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  (503): Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare. http://tfl.nu/yoal
  Replies (32) Good night (6549) Bad night (858)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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  (770): I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray. http://tfl.nu/vqg8
  Replies (10) Good night (972) Bad night (2641)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.

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  (630): He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick. http://tfl.nu/e6nk
  Replies (29) Good night (1138) Bad night (5933)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am

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  (724): I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am http://tfl.nu/gygo
  Replies (8) Good night (1578) Bad night (782)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Disregard the shoes in the freezer.

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  (847): Disregard the shoes in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/ak94
  Replies (5) Good night (1911) Bad night (770)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.

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  (678): You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk. http://tfl.nu/2vvu
  Replies (3) Good night (873) Bad night (1274)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.

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  (+44): It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals. http://tfl.nu/whom
  Replies (11) Good night (1613) Bad night (473)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.

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  (724): Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful. http://tfl.nu/ytjz
  Replies (2) Good night (1176) Bad night (500)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?

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  (407): How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong? http://tfl.nu/4ez3
  Replies (12) Good night (1121) Bad night (394)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.

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  (716): I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects. http://tfl.nu/fv1m
  Replies (1) Good night (1290) Bad night (254)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.

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  (812): I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear. http://tfl.nu/1shh
  Replies (7) Good night (653) Bad night (320)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.

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  (970): Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family. http://tfl.nu/xde2
  Replies (2) Good night (617) Bad night (332)
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  (585): View more from New York

  seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs

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  (585): seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs http://tfl.nu/iszo
  Replies (5) Good night (488) Bad night (135)

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