If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
