I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
